The Art of Allowing Others is a Part of the Law of Attraction

The Art of Allowing Others is a Part of the Law of Attraction

being creatively mindful and practicing the art of allowing others to live their lives

Creative Mindfulness Means Allowing Others to Be Who They Are

The Art of Allowing Others

The Law of Attraction works when we allow life to happen in us and around us…part of that is learning the art of allowing others to be who and where they are in their lives.

A part of Creative Mindfulness in Designing Your Life is to cooperate with the Law of Attraction.  Get our Free Ebook on the Law of Attraction, by joining our email list for our newsletter on Creative Mindfulness.


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The Law of Attraction is a Natural Law that works all the time in the Universe and in our lives.  Read your free Ebook by subscribing on the right of this page.

When we are mindful of where we are and what we want and where we want to be, we create thoughts and emotions that activate the Law of Attraction.  That Law then begins to bring people and circumstances and information into our lives that align with what we want.  That is the Attraction at work.

Our job is to envision and want and get emotionally involved with what we are attracting.

It is also to allow things to happen.  To us and to others.

Please see the Art of Allowing to read about allowing things to be attracted into our lives.  This post is about the Art of Allowing Others to figure out their own lives.

the art of allowing is not judging others

Allowing Means Not Judging Others

Allowing Can Be Challenging

It can be a difficult and challenging subject because it is easier to judge and try to change people than to permit them to be, especially when they are doing something that is counter to our own values or when someone is causing pain to someone we love.

So how do we practice letting Others self-determine?  And is it a good idea?

Let's talk about the ways to allow others.

There is the easiest, which is to give love.

I knew a woman who served on a committee with me.  She really resented me because she used to head the group until I came along.  Then I became the chair.  She thought she could do it better.  In fact, she probably thought she was the only one who knew how to really do a good job with it.

She gave me a lot of resistance, over really petty stuff.  She refused to acknowledge any good, and even said things behind my back to put me down or criticize me.

It would have been really easy to give the same kind of thing back to her, but that is not part of my value system.  It is not the way I want to be.  Yet, I was very tempted to resist her.  And what resists persists, right?

So what I decided, is when she tried to give me grief, I first refuse to receive it.  And then I gave her every ounce of unconditional love I could muster up.  I poured it out for her.  I could see how she was hurting by being replaced and outdone.  I got that shewas doing and acting the only way she knew to protect her own bruised ego.

What happened is she got flummoxed.   I brought her energy into the light.   I drained away her power and her energy by reflecting back energy of love to her.  She was left with no extra energy to work with.  Her stuff just stopped, dead.  It was amazing.

By allowing her to be who she is and sending her love, she had to be different because I had taken her energy

and balanced it with mine.

Have Conversation and Find Common Ground

Allowing Can Be Finding Common Ground and Understanding

Have Conversation & Find Common Ground


Another way to handle an energy that does not align with what I want, is to express to the person that I can't live with your acting that way.

“I feel uncomfortable about it.  Can we talk about it?”

The conversation could be opened up to gain more understanding.  Understanding where someone is coming from, their culture, upbringing, religion, can lead to open discussion rather than conflict.

We can learn from one another. We can more easily allow one another to be who and what we each are by learning to understand one another.

Being mindful of cues

Be Mindful About Cues of Distress

What About People Who Won't Talk?

There are people who act in ways that don't line up with our values  and who we can't give love to and make a difference.  There are people who we can't exchange ideas and information with.

They are coming from places where they are unable to talk or to share or to understand.

Sometimes we need to listen for cues.  We need to be mindful about what is happening.  Some of these people need professional help.

There have been a slew of mass killings.  In schools, at outdoor concerts, at gatherings of many kinds.  In most cases, there were cues that were given before the person murdered others.  If we can become more mindful and listen to the cues that are out there, perhaps we can do better at getting people help who need it before they commit these awful and destroying acts.

Firearms Have Physical Energy

Can We Give Love to Channel Physical Energy in New Directions?

Even the weapon has energy.  It is made of energy.  There is physical as well as emotional and spiritual energy in the world.  Perhaps we can get to the point where we can deenergize that physical energy with our love, too.  It may be worth trying.

I read about one teacher in Florida who gave his life to de-energize the energy coming from a gunman and his weapon.  He absorbed the bullets and was killed, to protect others.  His life was worth living, to give so much for others.  I think we are all grateful for him.  He allowed the murderer to be who and what he was, and acted to protect others from the impact that did not align with his own values.



Be the Example

taking action that aligns with our values

Allowing Can Mean Taking Value-Aligned Action

A third way is to demonstrate a better way.  Happiness is catchy.  We can take action, or we can give a pencil so a person can express himself.  Demonstrating something we value and believe in is a part of allowing someone else to be and do what they choose.

The truth is we have no control over anyone but ourselves.  It is a waste of energy.  We are responsible for what we do.  Being responsible does not mean judging someone else, but it can mean taking action that aligns with our own values.

When we have difficulty with a co-worker, perhaps being proactive and showing them shortcuts and tricks you have learned will help the relationship and the atmosphere in the office.  Being able to lead and teach may get noticed by management so that they promote you to do more of what they can see you are good at  – practicing the art of allowing others to be who they are, loving them where they are, and sharing your love and values by helping them.

Lifelong learning helps practice the art of allowing

Lifelong Learning Helps Implement the Art of Allowing Others

A ship without a compass wouldn't work well at sea.  Coping and relaxation skills that help people reduce their personal stress and learn better how to  attract and practice the art of allowing themselves and others.

When we practice the Art of Allowing Others, we release the Law of Attraction to work to help us Design the Lives we want.

Annie's Tips has lots of posts about living with creative mindfulness, including pursuing art, building love and family, following a life design to have the career and business you want, and creatively nuturing our bodies with health and wellness.  Take the time to browse around.  Check out our newsletters by joining an email list.

Your life is worth investing in with your time and mindful attention.  What are you doing today to release feelings that may hold you back from having an open, attracting spirit?  Check this article on Spring Cleaning ourselves, anytime of year and preferably every day.

the art of allowing others


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Published by Annie Collyer

Annie is a mom of four, a business owner and blogger. She and her husband live in New Hampshire, where they are both active volunteers in their community school district. She writes about designing our lives with proven design thinking principles. Join her in creating the life we each want.

  • Lisa says:

    I agree with you Annie, have conversation and find common ground. I think everyone can at least find common ground on something. Definitely, be an example. Happiness is indeed catchy. Very uplifting post.

  • Some very valuable information here Annie. As a victim advocate I have discovered that listening is one of the most important things we must learn. This applies to just about every aspect of our lives.

    • I agree with you, Craig. I have served as a CASA and as a youth advisor, and listening is one of the most missing and most needed skills for people to feel validated and loved. Thank you for your comments and for visiting.

  • Brittaney Verkuyl says:

    I found this article really interesting. I am bipolar. I have heard about so many people like me doing things that would get them into trouble. I was almost there myself at one point.

    Then I realized what was happening. I was only able to do that because someone close to me listened and helped me learn instead of judging and getting angry with me.

    Thanks to that person, I am so much better off. I have learned to listen to myself and find what I need to be able to be like everyone else. I am also learning to listen to others and see what I can do to help them. Thank you, Annie, for this article.

    • Hi Brittaney, thank you for this comment! I have family members who are bipolar. Fortunately there is help to get the chemistry sorted out. It was a challenge until we knew. I am glad you got what you need to make life work.

  • Michelle says:

    Great article on ‘love energy’, Annie. This is what I received from it. I love the fact that we ‘get to make’ the decision how ‘anyone or anything’ will affect us. More importantly, we also get to choose how much or how little we give to others. Thanks so much for sharing.

    • Thank you for your comment, Michelle. Our love energy is extremely powerful. And we do get to choose and design how we live and respond. Not only do we get to choose, but we are the only person responsible for our own choices, and we are not responsible for the choices other people make. Isn’t that freeing? Have a great day!

  • ariel says:

    Hello Annie, this was such an important article. Not only is the LOA so working at all times, but we have the ability to change all that is happening by such a simple way of just giving love. So your example was so prime of how people act when they are so in need of love. Thank you for sharing that.

    I do believe that our soul’s purpose is to just love. And we complicate it rather than live it. But to me that is what each of our paths is truly about. Getting back and into the simple path of loving. That is it..that is all there is.

    When we are all on the same vibrational energetics of this pureness, the world will be peace. After all, love is the ultimate cure.
    In peace and gratitude, ariel

  • […] what if they're in your family?  You can't get away from them, but you can allow them to be where and who they are, without taking it on for […]

  • […] does not entail judgment.  It is a judgment-free way of being.  It is noticing, and accepting, and loving what is there, without being scared or fearful or […]

  • […] step is to create a space in the workplace, in the home and/or in your own life, where there is a judgment-free zone. In this zone, it is possible to unleash your mind and be free from restricting rules, procedures […]

  • minecraft says:

    I need to to thank you for this good read!!
    I certainly loved every bit of it. I’ve got you book marked to check out new things you post…

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