How To Raise Manly Boys For Dads and Moms

How To Raise Manly Boys For Dads and Moms

Parents today want to learn how to raise manly boys, and all they have is their matriarchal parenting experiences for the most part

Parents today want to learn how to raise manly boys…this is not about their sexuality, it's about helping them become who they are meant to be

Many parents today were raised in matriarchal homes.  Mom was there and was most involved.  Dad was earning a living, and called upon to be the tough one from time to time.  How do female-oriented experiences and training work to help moms and dads figure out how to raise manly boys?

Things have changed today.  Dads are co-parenting.  Moms are often co-earning.  How do we learn to work together to raise our kids – especially our boys?

Mindful Empowering

Being present, with what is happening right this minute, is mindfulness. When we are mindful, we can remove judgment, shame and blame. We can be empowered as parents to create a zone for our kids where it is safe just to be.

That Safe Place helps each member of the household to blossom and become all they can be. Think for a moment how unsafe your child can feel when people – like maybe you – lose their cool around them.

It can be scary.  It also teaches poor coping skills for them to call upon when they get stressed out.

How often do we do what our parents did, on automatic pilot?  Instead of mindfully coming up with solutions and ideas that will work best to help our kids get the best we can give them?  How frustrating that can be!

I know I was raised with some old-fashioned ideas about handling bad behavior, like yelling and spankings.  When my kids acted up, that would be my default way that I sometimes handled them!  I had to figure out how to react differently all on my own…thankfully, I was able to do that for the most part.

Today there are resources that I didn't have.  I want you to know about them.  The cost of not having them is high, the benefits are crazy wonderful, for you and your kids.

Boy struggling to handle life stress can get help from empowered parentsWhat happens when things get crazy?

Stress of holidays? Stress of illness? Stress of money, or work, or school projects, or classmates who are being bullies? What about temper tantrums?

All of these things WILL happen. It is life, isn't it? It's not like we live in some dreamworld where nothing ever goes amiss. People lose their cools.

How can we bring mindfulness into times like that? An even bigger question is, what happens if we don't?

If we fail to give our children the safety net of love and security, we can condemn them to a life of badly handling conflict and stress.  The opiod epidemic is life-threatening today.  Kids are more stressed and more depressed than ever.

How can we help our kids avoid making decisions that will hurt them?  How can we help them live high functioning and fulfilling lives?

The Safe Creative Zone

But let's say you decide that your pain is really big about how you typically respond to stress. Let's say that makes you willing to try another approach. That is the moment where you create a zone for creativity for yourself and for your child.

Do you have sons?  Many parents don't have any modeling on how to deal with boys, or with involved fathers either.  There's a new paradigm today, with dads being more involved.  It's very cool, and it can be kind of challenging too.  We don't know how.

The Parent Resource Center is a place you can go for some help.  There is a  video training there for you that can be life and parenting-changing.  The Male Box.  The Male Box zeroes in on the training gap for Men and Boys.

For just $24.95 for the Male Box, get this video.  Watch it and implement it!  In 2.6 hours, it covers solutions to understanding

  • the lives and minds of men and boys
  • male/female communication issues in co-parenting
  • how to help boys become men

If you need or want the certification version, the cost is $49.95.

Child sitting in time-outTime Out and Mindfulness?

It could be that it is time for a time-out for both of you. Just some separation for a bit, while you both practice some mindfulness.

Let's give a time-out some definition. I suggest it needs to be set up, ahead of time, in a calm and loving way. Call it not a punishment, but a thinking space of time – for when things are getting crazy.

A thinking space to restore peace and harmony in the home.

Set up a place. It can be a chair, or a step. A place that is distraction-free, so thinking is fostered.

Be consistent! It will probably be hard in the beginning. Everyone needs to get used to the idea.

Consistent means, do it immediately when the behavior happens. Kids have short memories and will be very confused if you finish your yard work before you send him to time-out!

Consistent also means, when he gets up or wriggles to distract himself or reach for a toy, put him back in place and start over, every time!

father and child talking about mindful thinking spaceHow Much Time?

Experts suggest a minute for every year of age. That means 3 minutes for a 3-year-old, for instance. If you find that is not long enough to get things calmed down for him, you can try adding half again as much time. That would mean 4 1/2 minutes.

Then, when the time is up, move on. Talk briefly with your child about his time-our. Ask if he knows what happened and what he thinks about it.

Don't Lose Your Cool

Mindfulness in parenting means conscious parenting. Intentional parenting.

Be present with your own reactions and feelings. If you feel frustrated, acknowledge your feeling. If you feel angry, be present with that feeling, observe how you feel, and accept that you feel that way.

Judging yourself or your child will not help the situation. We are all human, all growing, all becoming our highest and best. It's a process. It's what life is all about!

Creative Tips for Mindful Parenting Strategies – How to Raise Manly Boys

Knowing the power of our thoughts, we know it is important to let go of worry and release our children and ourselves from judgment.

If we worry that we are bad parents, that will not make us bad but it will communicate a level of judgment and stress to your child that doesn't prepare him to live in the realities of not being perfect himself.

becoming empowered to handle stress and teach your children to handle stress will equip your kids for lifeTo be mindful in parenting, we need to be present with bad behaviors. There is not room for shame or guilt, for the child or for you.

To be present, you name the challenge. If Johnny is having a temper tantrum, you say, “Johnny is having a temper tantrum.” You may want to add “-for now” as a reminder to yourself that the only constant in life is change.

Then the next step in being a mindful parent is to accept that your child is not perfect and never will be. And to accept that you're not perfect and never will be.

Your ability to accept him right where he is, and to deal with him without judgment and worry, will be a great lesson to him for his life experiences where he'll have to deal with both himself and other flawed human beings.

 

family harmony with mindful parenting

Creative and Innovative Living
Brings Fulfillment

When we allow ourselves to be mindful, and to live creatively, we open up the opportunity to learn and to grow. We get to fully unfold the potential of our individual humanity and vibration.

As we open up the fullness of our personalities, we find self-esteem and joy.

As parents, this communicates to our children and helps them also live creatively.  Some of us instinctively and experientially know a lot about raising girls.  Some empowering parenting training to be the best possible is always a help.

For many, the challenge arises in understanding how men and boys think and in helping them to become all they are meant to be.  How to raise manly boys can be a challenge.

Get your Male Box today.  Invest $25 to help you become the parent your child needs and deserves.  We can all use advice and improvement.  Getting help with parenting is good for you, good for them!  Buy your video now!

how to raise manly boys

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Published by Annie Collyer

Annie is a mom of four, a business owner and blogger. She and her husband live in New Hampshire, where they are both active volunteers in their community school district. She writes about designing our lives with proven design thinking principles. Join her in creating the life we each want.

  • Michelle says:

    Hello Annie,
    Great article. The funny thing is this – we all know this within our core, but how often do we do what we know we should? At times, it is the gentle reminders like those in this article which help to ‘ground’ us.
    There is no ‘life manual’ to guide us, just our inner ‘gut’ and ‘common sense’, embraced with love – love of self which flows over onto others.
    Thank you.
    Michelle

  • Paul says:

    Dear Annie,

    Thanks for the post on Mindfulness in Parenting – Tips for Creativity. Great information and its very important thing we need to focus on. Now a days children facing lot of problems we need to be their parents and need to help them with their struggle. You said it well “Your ability to accept him right where he is, and to deal with him without judgment and worry, will be a great lesson to him for his life experiences where he will have to deal with both himself and other flawed human beings.”

    Your Friend,
    Paul

    • Hi Paul, very well said. We do need to be the parent, not another child caught up in the emotions of the moment. As parents, we can help create an emotional clearing for them, by removing the negative energy.
      Thank you for your comments and visit.
      Annie

      • Paul says:

        Dear Annie,

        “As parents, we can help create an emotional clearing for them, by removing the negative energy.” You said it well. Thanks that’s one of the main things we need to focus on.

        Your Friend,
        Paul

  • Brittaney Verkuyl says:

    Being mindful as a parent can be hard. I am speaking as a young mother with two young children (under 7 years). Time-out is best as long as its done right. The most essential part of time-out is taking the negative out of the process. Children respond to the emotional stimulus than just what we say or do.

    • Hi Brittaney, What a great point. It is all about removing the negative emotional energy and letting things calm, so everyone can be mindful about what happened. Thank you for your comments.

      Annie

  • This is really nice. I especially liked “If the pain of a problem is great enough, it will overcome the pleasure of risk-avoidance.” I find that to be true in so many ways.

    There is a lot of good advice in here. I grew up on the receiving end of the infamous wooden spoon that many mothers used to resort to, and it has been hard not to take that kind of direct physical approach at times, but I never wanted to be that kind of person with my kids.

    I have generally done my best to talk things out with my kids, as hard as that can be, but I think the results speak for themselves.

    • Hi Craig,
      Good for you to take a new and more creative talking it out approach with your kids, instead of using the wooden spoon that you inherited. I had a similar experience, and can relate. My kids are even better at it! Gradually, generation by generation, we are being more mindful and creative with parenting.
      Annie

  • Sue Dixon says:

    An amazing article, Annie! I wish I had these tips when I was raising my two kids. My husband and I were oftentimes at a complete loss for what to do next. I like the tip of separation for a period of time, this allows for a calming down time for both parents and child. It is so necessary to be creative where raising children is concerned. This was valuable advice I will pass on to my daughter for my grandsons.

    • Hi Sue, You and me both! So much has come forth in more recent years about being creative and mindful with raising children. Like you, I want to pass it forward to benefit more and more kids! Thank you for vistiting.
      Annie

  • minecraft says:

    Excellent blog here! Also your site loads up
    fast! What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host?
    I wish my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

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